MAC AIRWAYS
The cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look the same, feel
the same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight,
they reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know and would
you please return to your seat and watch the movie.
WINDOWS AIRLINES
The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants all ver
y attractive, the pilots very capable. The fleet of Learjets the
carrier operates is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch,
pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it explodes without
warning.
OS/2 SKYWAYS
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers
milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed,
wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway.
Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in
hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets
outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good
the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will
be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little
longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe until
mid 1995. Maybe longer.
FLY WINDOWS NT
All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the
chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms
and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.
UNIX EXPRESS
All passengers bring a piece of the airplane and a box of tools with
them to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly
about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it
together. Eventually, the passengers split into groups and build
several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some
passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe
they got there.
WINGS OF OS/400
The airline has bought ancient DC3s, arguably the best and safest
planes that ever flew, and painted "747" on their tails to make them
look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to
your every need, though the drinks cost $15 for an orange juice.
Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have Supportline,
which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent
flyer club. Then they cost $500, but your accounting department can
call it overhead.
MVS AIRLINES
The passengers all gather in the hangar, watching hundreds of
technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury
aircraft. This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000
passengers. Bigger models in the fleet can have more engines than
anyone can count and fly even more passengers than there are on
Earth. It is claimed to cost less per passenger mile to operate
these humungous planes than any other aircraft ever built, unless
you personally have to pay for the ticket. All the passengers
scramble aboard, as do the 200 technicians needed to keep it from
crashing. The pilot takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns
the engines, only to realise that the plane is too big to get through
the hangar doors.